The "What if..." Factor

What if...
We've all said it multiple times in our lives for various situations and scenarios. Jobs, living arrangements, relationships, friendships, etc. ad nauseam. It occurs to me that these two harmless words, when put together to form the beginning of a question, can cause some of the most troublesome, and more likely than not tiresome, thoughts in a person's mind. Some see it as looking forward to what could possibly be, while others dread the possibilities to come and find these two words absolutely terrifying. Trouble is nobody knows what's going to happen down the road and the words "what if" really are harmless...of course this depends on the situation you're considering at the moment. Situation and circumstance are everything. And I will say that your personal views or feelings do play a large part as well. Not that this is necessarily the best thing. As every human knows, our feelings cloud our judgement and don't always let us see a situation for what it is. Whether it be our view of a particular job we want or some possession we are craving to get our hands on at that particular moment, bottom line is if we want it we are more than likely going to think we WILL get it.

In these cases the whole "what if" factor can be extremely exciting...because nine times out of ten the "what if" scenario is a good one, not something that causes us pain or one where we see ourselves anywhere but at the top, doing exactly what we want to do and getting exactly what we want out of it. Most people know that life rarely happens the way we want or envision it. And sometimes we get to a point that we no longer have such an optimistic view of the situation we are in and the "what if" factor turns sour very quickly. If you're anything like me the worst case scenario(s) always seem to crop up easiest and fastest. Always assume the worst right? That way when you don't get what you want, what you worked hard for, you are much less disappointed. Some people would take a far less dramatic view about the whole thing but I find that works best for me, I've tried it others way with less satisfying results...I know what works for me.

But as I've been told by many a wiser men and women than myself, taking this view on life, regardless of the situation, only leads to complications and a great deal more stress for you than is necessary. All very true, but still difficult to adopt a new philosophy after all this time. I have my moments like everybody else where the fuck-its set in and I could care less what happens. If I can't do anything more to control the situation or change it to work out the way I want, then why stress myself out even more by thinking about "what if" all the time? (Shame I can't feel like this all the time but I'm not wired that way.) There's people I know that go through life doing exactly what they want and pretty much getting whatever they want in some aspects without regard for the consequences for themselves or for others. There's times I wish I could live like this....i think most people secretly wish the same..... But the majority of us understand that living this way may be fun and exciting and fulfilling, but when one lives in this manner they are stepping on other people's toes, sometimes hurting people they claim to care about, in many ways knowingly hurting themselves and yet doing nothing to change it, and sadly enough sometimes even setting bad examples for the children in their lives. Quite frankly this irritates me more than anything else. If you know me you know that after 32 years of life I'm relieved I have no kids. I have various reasons for this, the top three being: 1) financially i'm in no position to be responsible for another person, 2) in every other manner of life i have enough difficulty taking care of myself sometimes and don't want the responsibility of another person that is completely dependent on me, and 3) plain and simple, I enjoy my freedom very much. (Don't get me wrong, if I was in a situation where it was a choice between being pregnant and choosing to have the baby and do what I needed to do, or make some other choice....well, to me there is no option B. I would never willingly harm a child I carried in any way nor give that child to another person when it was born. That's just not me. And you can be damn sure I'd be a good mom and do absolutely everything I needed to do........ That's because of MY mom and the type of woman she is, the way she raised my brother and myself, and the type of woman she taught me to be.) But as I was saying, if you do know my views on this matter you also know that I adore every single one of the kids I have in my life. My three nephews given to me by my brother and sister-in-law, all of my many cousin's kids, and all of my friend's kids that may not be nieces and nephews by blood but are still a part of my family. I don't know what I would do without even one of them. So when I see someone that, even having good role models themselves that taught them not to lie and cheat to get the things you want in life, live their life without regard to anyone else, and they have a child or children, it occurs to me that they are even more selfish than I ever thought a person could be. I don't understand the logic or reasoning behind showing this little person you helped to create and are helping to shape that it's OK to go through life without considering the feelings, ideas, opinions, etc. of other human beings.

I don't really see a problem with going after the things you want in life, it's part of human nature, of course you're going to do that. But when you do it and others feel the fallout, when others have to pick up the pieces you've left behind in your life, when others have to suffer with the consequences of your actions while you walk around acting like your life is perfect the way it is, particularly when your child sees this behavior and also has to deal with the consequences, that goes beyond selfish......I just don't understand this type of mindset. Why even bother being in that child's life? I'd be the first one to say that missing one parent in your life is not always easy, but if the missing parent is not acting in a manner that teaches a child good values and morals, then that child is better off without them. Anyway, my whole point in this ramble was that this type of person's "what if" is nonexistent.......from what I can tell anyway. I'll admit I could be wrong about that. It could be their "what if" is just different from what others would consider. Add to that that said person is not considering the consequences for themselves or anyone else and I honestly can't fathom what their "what if" would be. So again I say, I could be wrong about that. But I will also add that from watching various people throughout my life live in this manner, I see no "what if" factor in their decision-making process. Bottom line is, they do what they want, when they want to do it, and how they want to do it. Sheepishly I have to admit I can see a certain amount of freedom in living this way, I can see why somebody would choose to live their life exactly the way they want and not have a care in the world for what anyone else said said, did, or suffered because of it. At the same time though, I still don't think it's right. If you're going to willingly screw someone out of a job you know they should have, walk all over the people in your life, lie to people to get what you want out of life, and just downright treat other human beings like they don't matter......well, you're not a person I want in my life. You're not someone I want to associate with because I'd always be looking over my shoulder, waiting for the other shoe to drop, wondering when I was going to be the next one to have to suffer the consequences of your actions. The "what if" factor can be scary sometimes, stressful, hurtful to think about at times, but nonetheless I still find it necessary. If you don't consider the possibilities, then you are more likely than not going to make bad decisions and end up hurting and disappointing many people in many ways.

It's possible to get what you want out of life without being a total douche to the people around you. Strangers or loved ones, it makes no difference. It's not right. In my opinion people like this need to take a good look in the mirror, think about what they've done in their life, and for one moment consider the possibilities of "what if....."

Bah TV!

I have a few ideas for blog postings written down somewhere. I do that a lot, write things down. If I don't, then none of my story ideas would be put onto paper....er, the computer...not to mention the various activities in my life that would not be taken care of, but anywho... my point is this, I'm sitting here looking at my list of ideas for this blog (and yes, I have another list for my other blog) and I'm finding it hard to decide which one I want to do first. No good doing the one first in line, that wouldn't be fair to the rest of the ideas now would it? Just play favorites 'cus it's the first? No, I didn't think so. So... *closes eyes and points at screen*

Ahhh, we have today's topic...

I was thinking about this about a week or so ago and realized that I watch *far* less television than I used to. Seriously, I used to spend all day long with, at the very least, the tv on in the background. (FYI: I haven't worked anywhere but home in ages...and not by choice.) Not so much anymore. About the only time I do have the TV on anymore is 1) when I'm watching my nephew and he wants to watch his marathons of SpongeBob SquarePants and Dora, 2) when I'm in the living room with other people as opposed to holed up in the basement, 3) when it's late at night and I'm writing (but even then, I don't watch it, it's just background noise).

The only exception I make to the rule is Friday nights at 8 when I watch Smallville, which I NEVER miss an episode of. If I can't watch it when it airs, then I catch up on the DVR when I get the chance.

But my thoughts on the subject were more along the lines of why I don't watch TV anymore. Simple enough to answer that, I think most shows on TV suck now. I'll still watch an occasional episode of CSI or something along those lines, but not regularly like I used to. I've tried getting into new shows, but I just can't seem to do it. It could also be that, because I have full seasons of a few shows on DVD, I loathe having to sit through commercials now. This is where the DVR really comes in handy IMHO. The whole, I have to wait a week or more to see what happens, thing doesn't really bother me. I don't mind it so much. I like the show, I'll put up with only being able to watch it once a week. If I don't like it, then I don't even bother trying to watch it anymore.

Which leads me to a total of one show that is currently running on air that I watch. I have other shows like Charmed and Battlestar Galactica that aren't on air anymore that I still watch over and over again because I love them, but nothing new really. You can't consider Smallville "new" anymore as it's the 9th season.

So what the frak happened to all the good TV shows out there? Somebody please tell me, 'cus I wanna know where they went.

*pouts*

Forgetfulness.......and 80's movies

Alright folks, here's the deal. I had this idea in mind (with all these witty comments to boot) for a new post and figured I'd get the dishes done real fast before I sat down with the lappy to write my various volumes; blogs (insert shameless plug for my writing blog here), WiPs, beta (which I get isn't really my writing, just reading for a friend and correcting/advising, but still...) So anyway, I get the dishes done and wouldn't you know it, I can't even remember the subject I was going to post about. Sadly though, I'm more irritated that the witty comments I had planned out (can you call them witty if they're planned??) are no longer in my brain either. I can always find something to ramble about, that's not so hard. Being witty on the other hand...

So, what to blog about? Why even bother beginning a post when the original idea is already out of my head? It's not like I religiously update either of my blogs every day. Not even the writing one, which I should update daily as it is where I track my word count, but I'm getting off the point. I'm still posting because it's my blog and I'll do what I want. :-P

.......

(2 hours later :-O)
I was watching The Labyrinth the other day, for about the millionth time in my life I might add, when I started thinking about all those movies I used to love when I was younger that I haven't dusted off in a long time....mainly because I don't have a VCR anymore and I *refuse* to spend money on a newer version of the movies when I already own one copy. (As a side note, there are a few movies I would make an exception for like The Goonies or the Nightmare on Elm Street collection.) Now, you'll not see a reference to any intellectually stimulating movie here (or in any other post for that matter) because that's not how I roll. So let me just run down a list of some of the movies I used to love, love, love when I was younger; The Goonies, The Color Purple (in my top five favorite movies of all time),The Labyrinth, Bloodsport, Nightmare on Elm Street (1 and 5 being my favorites), Breakfast Club (watched a million times), Sixteen Candles (ditto for this one), A Christmas Story (duh, I still watch this every year), Adventures in Babysitting,  ..... crap, the list goes on and on and I shall not bore you with the whole thing.

Those of you actually paying attention will notice that these movies are pretty much all from the 80's. I suppose I could include some from the 90's as well, but why? I'm an 80's child and damn proud of it. Never mind the horrid clothing and bad hair styles. The movies and music made in the 80's, to me anyway, are some of the best. Well, the music not so much in a lot of respects, but even I have to admit, the 80's did sprout some kick ass tunes (including the ones we don't want to admit we like so much). :-D *makes mental note for another posting*

How many times have I watched each of these movies? I can't say. Let's just say that all together, plus combined with the huge number of movies I didn't put up here, equals quite a bit. Is it obvious that I've wasted much of my life away watching movies? Yes, but who cares? I sure don't. We all have a few things that we enjoy doing more than others and watching movies is one of mine.  I appreciate a good piece of film, and I've watched quite a few that I wish I never would have heard of. For some reason though, the ones I watched when I was younger stick with me more than later ones. Maybe it's because I've watched them for so long, or because I've put them in so many times and vegged out on the couch to once again enjoy them, I don't know.

One thing I do know. I'm sure not the only one who they still captivate so many years later.

The Musings of a Bored and Browsing Girl

Bored.

Browsing the net.

Chatting with folks on AW, laughin my ass off to be honest. But it's not fast enough to keep my ADD (or so I call it) in check, so I do other things at the same time.

The point?

I've been sitting here listening to some music on my new MP3 player (shush, I'm broke), and so I decided I needed some new music. I make up this whole list of songs that I want to find and someone says they'll do it for me. Sweet!

Yeah, not so much. They said, "I'll do it right now." But it's not done....and this is three hours later mind you.

Next subject:

I was wondering why, when I'm typing something like this I can go fast, faster than a hot rod. My fingers just fly across the keys. But then when I go to type something from something that's handwritten, I slow down. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I am already Queen of the backspace key, but it only gets worse when I'm typing from something longhand.

And finally:

Are you completely bored with my nonsense already? I don't blame you. I can't believe you're still reading this to be honest. I probably would have given up already. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz That's what this post brings to my mind, but oh well. As I'm the one who's writing it, and not stopping, I can't really say much on that subject. Anywho, so my last subject is on.... crap, I got nothin.

So what was the point of this post?

There wasn't one.

Haha, made ya look. :P

Battlestar Galactica

Yes, I know the show is not on anymore, and yes I know that I'm a bit late in putting this up here, but I have a reason for it. Over the past few weeks I have enjoyed watching all of the episodes of the series, beginning with The Plan (which in hindsight might not have been such a good idea because of the changes made either to the movie or show, which one I'm not sure as I never followed it before now.) and continuing until the series finale. This I will say they did an amazing job on and I thought they could not have ended the show better. That includes the deaths and disappearances that occurred. Just wouldn't have seemed right any other way I don't think. But here's my deal. I FRAKIN LOVE THE SHOW!! And if you've ever watched BSG (Battlestar Galactica) then frak is not a new word to you. It is now my favorite word in the world, replacing culdesac... hmmm this gives me an idea for another posting.... but anywho, back to the subject at hand. This show is excellent and I recommend that anyone who enjoys the Sci-Fi genre check it out.

So here's the scoop, a very much abridged version of it anyway.....

Twelve Colonies (planets) form the basis for the story. (Each one is named after an astrological sign actually, with a little change to the name itself such as Caprica and Picon.) The Colonies are attacked and the majority of humanity is decimated by the Cylons because of a Six obtaining information from the defense system. The only survivors were people (also some Cylons who blend in, but we'll get to that later) who managed to get onto battleships like Galactica and those few known as "The Resistance" who managed to survive the attack on Caprica. Somewhere around 50,000 people survived in total and all became part of a fleet led by the Galactica.


One interesting thing I'd like to note about the show is that during the title sequence the number of survivors changes from week to week to show deaths, births, and the finding of others.


And so the show begins. It's all about humanities ability to survive and find a new place to exist, all the while running from constant Cylon attacks. Eventually you find out that they plan to find Earth and recreate humanity there, but the journey is long and much happens. Too much to get into in one post here as a matter of fact.


I did want to touch on one more subject while I'm on the ramble about the show and that is the Cylons themselves. They were created by the people of the Twelve Colonies, essentially machines that evolved and began to blend into human society. There are 12 Cylon models which were made (which actually turns out to be 13 in total), with thousand or even millions of copies of each made. When one Cylon dies, its memories are downloaded into another copy and they return to living the life of the original. There are some confusing aspects to the stories of the Cylon individuals if you don't pay attention to the show, but if you do it's not so hard to figure out which copy is which. Anyway, the ones in the show that you pretty much know are Cylons the whole time are One through Eight. The last five only come out in the last season and one of Cylons doesn't even have a personal role in the story other than the various mentions of him being a defective model which was "boxed" (put into cold storage).


There's so much more detail and information that I could include about the show but that would turn into the longest post I have ever created.... which I will not bore you to tears with. Not today anyway. I might just end up writing about them again some day in another post, but who knows. I just felt the need to write about the awesomeness of the show and give a very general view of the storyline. There's so much more to it though and you'd have to watch it to get it all.


Suffice it to say, I think the show is amazing and well worth the time it took for me to write this, which wasn't long so....


I hope you enjoy it if you get the chance to check it out. Clickety click the linky above if you wanna check out one of the many sites dedicated to the show. It's the link from the Sci-Fi...oh, my apologies, the Scy-Fy (why they changed it I haven't a clue) channel so I figure it's the best one.

Elephants...come on people, don't act so surprised

So I've never really touched on the subject with most of you as to why I just simply adore elephants as much as I do. I get asked all of the time why that animal above any other. Usually the reactions I get from people when they find out my favorite animal is an elephant, and in fact that I have two elephant tattoos with plans to get at least one more, is laughter and a weird look. Both of those I'm used to though. People laugh at me because I'm weird, it's no secret. It's one of the few things I actually take pride in.

Alright, here's the story. And it's not a very interesting one at all so don't expect anything special here. It was merely by chance that I started my now massive elephant collection which includes some in the form of stuffed animals, necklaces, rings, knickknacks, pretty much anything elephant I can get my hands on. I've always thought elephants were totally cool animals. The size alone is enough to make me look at them with my mouth hanging open, but I have to say my absolute favorite thing about elephants is the way they use their trunks. Now, don't get me wrong, that's not the only thing I like, not even close. For instance I love the difference in the shape of the ears and head of an African elephant as opposed to an Asian elephant (see pics below for visual :P). I love the fact that they've evolved over thousands of years from the mammoth. I love everything about them. Except for the fact that people poach them for their tusks, but that should probably be saved for another day's ranting.

 African Elephant

Asian Elephant

So back to the story, I was probably 15 or so when I was given my first elephant. One of my high school friends had a little brother who was going to his aunt's house for the weekend and said that he would make me a knickknack if I wanted one. I told him absolutely, surprise me. What he brought home to me was an elephant sitting on his big ole rump, light blue in color, porcelain, handmade by himself and his aunt. It's about a foot in height so it's not just some tiny little thing. It's freakin awesome and absolutely adorable and I loved it the minute I set eyes on it. Well, from then on my collection spiraled out of control. If I have the chance to buy something in the shape of an elephant, with an elephant on it, anything remotely relating to an elephant I'll do it. And it also seems to be the gift of choice for people to give me, which I am SO NOT complaining about. Every year for Christmas for instance I get at least one elephant, it never fails. Just when I think I'm going to be elephantless, I open one and I always love it the most out of all of my presents. (Hope nobody takes offense to that.)

See? It's like I said, my collection was just something that happened. Some day I hope to be able to dedicate a whole room in my house to nothing but elephants. I'm obsessive, what else can I say?

There is one other thing I would like to note about elephants and it's something I have a link for up on the side of my page, and have had for a while now. It's called The Elephant Sanctuary and it's located in Tennessee. What I wouldn't give to be able to go there some day and spend time with people who take care of these animals on a daily basis. If you check out their web site http://www.elephants.com/ you will see what I mean. The place is amazing and the elephants are, of course, cool as hell. I've frequented this site for years now and I love going there to check out the pics they have up of the various elephants who live in the sanctuary. One elephant in particular I have fallen in love with just from watching her progress on the site and seeing the pics they have of her. Her name is Tarra and she's an Asian elephant that has been at the sanctuary since 1995. Before that, she was a circus elephant, but was born in the wild. At six months old she was taken from her mother and was privately owned until she retired and became the first elephant to reside in the sanctuary. She is awesome. You've all seen, or at least heard of, elephants that paint, well she's one of them.

Tara Painting

Tara Playing

I really think you guys should check the site out and browse through some of the pics and stories they have. You might just find it more interesting than you thought it would be.