Expectations and Surprises

So check this shit out. Something happened to me recently that I was sooooooooooo NOT expecting and it's kind of taken me by surprise.... well, more than kind of. But that's not really a bad thing. Actually maybe it is, I'm undecided. Ask me one minute and I'll say goodness no, not bad at all. Ask me the next minute and I'll freak right the fuck out. :D

Seriously though, I rather enjoy unexpected surprises. Obviously not so much the bad ones, but the good ones are fun sometimes. There's something to be said for an incident or revelation that takes us completely by surprise, especially when the outcome is good. Now, I'm not sure at the present time if the outcome will be good or not. Truth be told I'm trying my damndest not to worry about the outcome. You know, enjoying the moment and all that tosh.

I was curious about what the people around me really think about unexpected surprises and what happens when they expect one thing, but get another. I was, once again, surprised by what I heard. Most of the people I asked said they didn't really like surprises. Goodness gracious, me oh my, who on earth doesn't like surprises? (That's what I was thinking anyway.) Some of them justified it as they'd rather know everything that is going to happen (BORING!) or that they would worry too much about the outcome of a certain situation (which to a certain extent I can understand). But really? Not liking surprises? Ridiculous.

No matter what the surprise is, (or if you ask some people only the good ones apply to this) how can you not like it? I don't know. Like I said before, one minute I have one opinion, the next another. Maybe if I'd waited an hour or so to write this it would have been a completely different post. :D

When We Get What We Want

As much as I try, I can't make this blog what I originally intended it to be. I set it up with the hope that I would wax poetic on all kinds of subjects and that it would be, to some at least, somewhat educational...to a very mild extento to be sure. But I never took into consideration, at that time anyway, how truly emotional and personal I really am. I can't make fun blog posts, I can't do witty comments and stories, I can't do educational information. Trust me, I've tried. Every time I go to write a post, which I haven't done since last year sometimes for various reasons, it turns out completely different from what I want it to. They usually turn into some emotional spew about whatever subject I'm rambling about. So, it's time to stop fighting the inevitable and just go with the flow. Because recently I have realized something I should have figured out a long ass time ago. And quite frankly something that everyone around me already knows about me as it is as obvious as the nose on my face. I am an extremely emotional person. At times sensitive to the point of ridiculousness, overreacting to a situation like I'm a child throwing a fit. What kind of 30 year old acts that way? Nevermind, that's another day's post I think. My point is that I'm done trying to make this blog, and myself, what it is not.

So, that being said I'm going to now rant, ramble, and spew emotion on a subject I've spent quite a lot of time thinking about as of late.

Because you see, I have some limited experience on this subject.

So here's my question to you...What do we do when we finally get what we want? Now keep in mind that I mean anything; new products on the market, houses, but even the friends and lovers we want. Rarely do we stand back and go, "Well, now that I have what I want, I can stop being such a pain in the ass and enjoy myself for a while." No, what we do is look at what we've been trying to get, then look for the next best thing after it. Is anything ever good enough?

When I got married I thought I'd finally had what I'd been wanting. For a while I was happy, but eventually I was looking for something better and different. Perhaps it was the situation I was in at the time, but one day I just ended it. I'm sure it was lots of things that finally just got to me, I don't know. I finally put a stop to the constant misery, sorrow, and heartache. That's not important though. What is important is that after it was all said and done and I got what I wanted, it doesn't really matter.

Though marginally more happy overall than I was a year ago at this time...as a few of you can atest to...there's still something, or rather a lot of things, missing. I want more. But at the same time I don't know what that more actually is. So maybe it's not the way I think. Maybe it's more of a what we *think* we want type situation and not really what we do want. I mean, lets face it, how many of us are actually truly happy with our lives and what we have?

Do I sound ungrateful or like the biggest pain in the ass? I don't try to. I just try to speak my mind...unfortunately when I do that, all those nasty and inconvenient emotions tend to surface and pop out.