Bored Post About Something That Interests Only Me

I am so damn bored right now. It's Saturday night, 11:29 by my comp clock, and I'm bored out of my fucking mind. But I'm being stupid right now, sitting around waiting for somebody to show up that probably won't show up.

IDIOT! IDIOT! IDIOT!

Is there anyone you do that for? Just sit around with the comp on just in case they decide to show up? Or is it just me? Sometimes I think it's way dumb, but I just can't help myself. I enjoy talking to this person too much to NOT be around if they decide to show up. Besides, I can multi-task with the best of them. While I'm writing this I am also in IM with a friend, I have Smallville Season 6 on in the background... it's an episode that I don't like as much as the others so I don't mind missing every little detail. It's not like I've never watched it before.

Anyway, back to my original rant. Why do I feel the need to sit here and wait for someone who may not even show up this evening? Why do I double check my IM every half hour or so, even though I know this person hasn't showed up yet because I have little messages that tell me when peeps sign on, to see if they are here? Why do I spend so much time speaking with this one person? Because they are a good friend and help me when I'm feeling down or having a crappy day? Because they help me with my writing when I need it? I honestly don't know why I am drawn to this particular person more than some others. There are certain aspects of said person that I cannot seem to pull myself away from no matter how hard I try. And where it's not necessarily a bad thing, I'm not sure it's a good thing either. (That may not make sense to you, but it does to me so.) Especially since I wait on tenterhooks for said person to IM me when their name shows up.

Me thinks that's stepping into the territory of obsession. And I've tried telling myself, "I'm not talking to that person, just close out the IM window when you get the message and pretend like you're not around." But I just can't seem to do it. And it disappoints me when I see that person's light on, but they don't IM me. God! I sound like a child. Grow up! I mean, I know that the person has more important things to do than to talk to me every chance they get. And quite honestly, I can be sooooooo boring at times. Most of the people I talk to in IM just leave without saying goodbye I get so boring.

So, what is it about this particular person that, even if we aren't talking, it's nice to know they are there? I DON'T KNOW! I'm trying to figure that one out at the moment. Maybe it's just a phase and I'll get over it. It is a bit childish when I really start to think about it and analyze it. I'm an adult and I should start acting like one.


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Sunday afternoon.....

*looks up at what she wrote the night before and sighs in exasperation*

Oy, this is why you shouldn't type things when you're all hopped up on drugs for pain. I woke up this morning and couldn't remember what in the world I'd written. I don't know what came over me last night, I have half a mind to delete the damn post so it's not taken in the wrong way.

Screw it, I can't do that. I just wouldn't be me if I deleted something in fear of what others might think about it. Sheesh Sneaks, waffle much.

Today is going to be a weird day, I can tell that already.......

Oh, and there's a new poll on the sidebar. :D